Jacob 7- Omni

I liked these chapters. In Jacob 7, Jacob's confrontation with Sherem is awesome. I like how Jacob teaches us that all scripture testifies of a Redeemer, a True Lover, Jesus Christ. To profess to understand the scriptures but to deny the Christ shows a lack of knowledge. The Book of Mormon adds its testimony of Jesus Christ, revealing that all prophets have testified of the coming of a Messiah.

Enos' story is also very interesting. I like the idea that Enos prays mightily and receives a remission of his sins. But then he proceeds to pray for his people that they might have a knowledge of the Covenants of God. God covenants with him that they shall gain this knowledge eventually. That's even better. The fact that he was thinking about his brothers and sisters is a happiness.

I am searching for a scripture to put on my missionary plaque. So far I really like Matthew 25:40 (my all time favorite scripture) and a few others. Today I found a good possibility. It is Omni 1:26

"And now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should come unto Christ, who is the HOly one of Israel, and partake of his slavation, and the power of his redemption. Yea, come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him, and continue in fasting and prayeing, and endure to the end,; and as the Lord liveth ye will be saved."

I like the idea of giving our whole soul. Joseph Smith taught that the soul is the body and the spirit. So in a sense, we are asked to give our all to Christ. We are called upon to give Him the physical and the things that transcend the physical.

Pruning the Vineyard

I read Jacob 5 over two days. I love Jacob 5 but lately I haven't felt as strongly involved with it lately. It's probably due to the stress of the semester and everything. I like the analogy of the Lord pruning the vineyard and working on the trees but the good fruit would often not be produced despite the Lord's bests intentions.

I have felt very pruned this year. I have experienced some of the most trying experiences in my life. I came to BYU with naive expectations I suppose. I was a bit shocked when it wasn't exactly as peachy as I had hoped. I have met many friends, felt many sorrows, and experienced the most spiritual growth that I have ever seen in a year. My first semester I finished the Bible. My second semester I read the BOM. And I hope to finish the D and C before I leave for Thailand. I stirred up controversy as I explored my religious beliefs. I prayed. A lot. I tried to pray with greater intent. I tried to come to know Jesus, not just about Him. And I worked hard to do my best. Was I happy through all this pruning? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Lately I have felt the no side of this pruning. I haven't been enjoying BYU for the past little bit and it was compounded lately as I realized that I have felt more and more left out in many aspects of my life. Don't worry everyone, BYU, like everything in life, has its ups and downs. I will most likely stay at BYU.

But then I remember perhaps the greatest lessons that I have learned this year. Christ's hand is always stretched out. He is the True Lover. The Great I am. The Eternal God. God is my Father. And the Spirit will not abandon me if I continue to try my hardest. The pruning and the burning, the nourishing and the learning comes through the Holy Spirit. God has taught me more about myself than I can express. God has taught me who I want to be, who I don't want to be, what I want my life as a Disciple of Christ to be like and the kind of future I want for myself. But most of all, I have learned to love myself. I have learned that only through loving myself can I love others.

And because of this, I have grown to love the Thai people already more than I can express. Though I may not speak their language (yet), I feel a love for them that I cannot express in words. I hope that I can share my message with love and with faith.

Lord I believe. Help thou my unbelief.

2nd Nephi 30-33

I finished the book of 2nd Nephi today. I really rather enjoyed it. The Isaiah chapters are a little hard but I really like the final words of Nephi. Nephi calls for us to repent, be baptized and be reconciled unto God. We must press forward with a steadfast faith in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope. I love that. To have a brightness of hope. What does that even mean? I think I am looking forward to understand what hope really means. I have heard it explained many ways but I wonder how it will apply in my life and what it will come to mean. I am anxious to share what I believe to be my hope in Christ with the people in Thailand. I try to press forward despite Book of Mormon tests and pains that I feel in my life. I pray to continue to be able to share this hope with the people of Thailand. I know I mention this every night, but I really am so excited to go to Thailand. I can't wait to go and serve the people. I want to be a humble servant of God and testify to them of Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God.

2nd Nephi 29-30- A Bible, A Bible!

A Bible, A Bible, We Have got enough Bible! How many times have I heard this? Too many to count. Especially from some people who are less sympathetic to the Church's claim to new scriptures and continuing revelation. I feel that the Book of Mormon, another Testament of Jesus Christ, is not really changing anything that the Bible says, it merely clarifies and expounds upon new doctrines. A few notable ones include: the plan of salvation, the resurrection, the atonement, Jesus' teachings, the role of the spirit, etc. I feel that these will be key in the conversion process of the Thai people. I pray for understanding to be able to teach them that which they need to know.

The Book of Mormon 2nd Nephi 26-28

So I have been breaking Lent. But I am trying. I have been so busy and stressed out that it's almost impossible. I am praying for help. But I want to journal on my scripture experience better than I have been. And I have been doing well so far.

These chapters talked about how the Book of Mormon's primary purpose is to convince men that Jesus Christ is the Eternal God. I believe that this is the purpose of the Book of Mormon also. I can't wait to share the truthfulness of this marvelous theologically beautiful text to the Thai people. I can't wait until I can read the Book of Mormon in Thai and bear my testimony in Thai as I share my humble belief in the simplicity of many Gospel teachings. I cannot wait until I can testify to the people of Thailand of Christ's arm always being extended (end of chapter 28). To me, this is the most important thing I can share with a world that needs more peace, love and happiness and less judgment and anger.

I also like the idea of learning line upon line. I think this leaves room for changes. I like change. Our Church is based upon the idea of continuing revelation and change through the atonement of Christ. I like that idea a lot. I pray that I may be open to receive line upon line also.

Christ as Savior- 2nd Nephi 23-25

I really liked the analogy of Christ as the Savior who brought the Israelites across the sea and the one who offered healing from the fiery serpents. I think often we think of Christ as a very distant figure. He is a picture on the wall. Words in a book. Testimonies on Fast Sunday. Sunday School lessons. But Christ is much more than that. Christ is the Savior of the World. The Son of the Living God. As Chieko Okazaki we have to do more than come to know about Christ, we have to come to know Christ. We have to come to feel the atoning power that He offers, His love for mankind, and the power of his role as Savior is. I mention this in about every post here, but I can't wait to bear my testimony of Christ, the Son of the Living God, to the people of Thailand. I can't wait to say that I know that Christ died for my sins and your sins and everyone else's sins. Even if you don't believe in Him, He still suffered for your sins because His atonement is an infinite one. Infinite. Without end.

Christ's Judgment 2nd Nephi 20-22

Christ judges perfectly. He does not judge with the eyes or the ears, but he judges through the heart and soul of men. Christ has charity. He can see everyone the way they really are, not just the way they seem. Christ inspires me to have more charity. Lately I have been reflecting on my attitudes as I have become increasingly stressed out this semester with my Spanish paper and all the other things that are on my mind. Am I trying to exhibit charity? Am I praying enough? Am I judging as Christ would have me judge? I am trying so hard and yet I feel so inadequate at times. At these times, I think I fail to remember that Christ's hand is not stretched out two hours a day excluding weekends and holidays, Christ's hand is always stretched out. He wants me to partake of the atonement and feel that exquisite joy.

Yes I know I am preachy, but the atonement is something so important to me. I have always had such a testimony of Christ. I know of His Divinity and Charity as I have come to see it throughout my life. I love Jesus Christ. I cannot wait to share this love with the people of Thailand. The work will be hard. The hours will be long. The days will be rough. But if I can share something that is so important to me and maybe touch someone for the better, even if they don't convert, I will be satisfied. I hope I can have the Spirit as I tell the Thais that Christ's hand is stretched out still.

His Hand is Stretched Out Still 2 Nephi 17-19

I often like to ponder about the atonement and Christ's feelings about it. Obviously, it was a painful experience for Christ. He suffered for everything. I often feel that sometimes I am too unworthy or scared to come to Him for help. I once heard that the "Mormon Jesus" is for the strong. I disagree. The "Mormon" Jesus is for the people who are so tired. He's for the people who can't find the rays of sunshine in their lives. He's for the people who struggle with eating, mood and emotional disorders. He's for the people who struggle, languish and are about to give up. He's for everyone who has felt any kind of pain. He's there for us. He atoned for it all. We are scared and very weak. We need Jesus. We must come to know Him. We have to reach out for His hand when we languish. After all, His hand is stretched out still.

Cleanse Me O Lord- 2nd Nephi 16

I don't have much to say on the scriptures today. I couldn't really read that well. I was distracted. I am considering something that I never thought I would consider. I doubt it will actually happen and it will be definitely after Bangkok, so I don't need to think about it.

Anyway, I like the passage about Isaiah becoming pure before the Lord. I want that too. How can I obtain that? I think it is only through the Spirit that I can do this. God will bless me somehow, sometime, somewhere if I remain faithful. I know His Gospel to be True and I want to be a worthy spokesman for it. Help me O Lord. Cleanse Me.

Behind and Ahead- 2nd Nephi 14-16

I fell behind on this blog. I finished the BOM and loved it. I can't express that in words. It is far too holy to express.

But I want to write a few impressions about my reading for today. I love the idea of God raising an Ensign to the Nations. What is the ensign? In my opinion, this ensign reminds me a lot of what God tends to do with his people. Moses and the golden snake. Jesus Christ on the cross. And now a new ensign. This new ensign to me is the knowledge of a God who atoned for our sins in a way that is more personal than ever. It is the restored gospel of hope. Of love, joy, peace. I can't wait to share this news with the people of Thailand. To think of seeing their smiling faces as their culture becomes integrated with the Gospel of Jesus Christ brings tears to my eyes.